Biting is a common concern for many families with young children. While it can be distressing, especially when it happens unexpectedly, biting is a typical developmental behavior often seen in infants, toddlers, and two-year-olds. Children usually outgrow this behavior as they mature, develop self-control, and learn better ways to express their needs and emotions. However, it’s important for families to understand why children bite and how to respond in a way that encourages healthy behavior.

Why Do Young Children Bite?

Children may bite for various reasons, and understanding the cause is key to addressing the behavior effectively. Here are some of the common reasons why young children bite:

• Teething pain relief: Biting can soothe discomfort caused by teething.
• Curiosity and exploration: Children are learning about the world, and biting can be a way to explore cause and effect (“What happens when I bite?”).
• Sensory Needs: Some children need the sensation of biting and may do so to meet a sensory need.
• Seeking attention: Biting can be a way for children to get attention, even if it’s negative.
• Strong emotions: When children feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or scared, they might bite to express their feelings.
• Imitating others: Sometimes children bite because they’ve seen another child or adult do it.
• Self-defense: Biting may be a child’s way to protect themselves if they feel threatened or out of control.

Preventing Biting: Proactive Strategies for Families

Although biting is a common behavior, there are steps families can take to help prevent it:

1. Set age-appropriate expectations: Understand your child’s developmental stage and respond with expectations that align with their abilities.
2. Establish predictable routines: Consistent schedules and routines, especially around mealtime and bedtime, provide children with a sense of security and reduce stress that could lead to biting.
3. Encourage relaxation and emotional regulation: Provide activities that help your child release tension, like playing with playdough, squeezing stress balls, or engaging in deep-breathing exercises. Yoga or calming music can also help.
4. Provide appropriate biting outlets: Offer items your child can safely bite, such as teething rings or cold washcloths, so they can satisfy their oral needs without harming others.
5. Positive guidance: Use gentle reminders to teach your child what behavior is expected. For example, “You can take turns with the toy” instead of saying “Don’t grab.” Reinforce positive behaviors with encouragement and praise.

How to Respond When Your Child Bites

When biting happens, how you respond can make a big difference in whether the behavior continues. Here are some helpful steps for addressing biting incidents:

For Infants:

Infants often bite as a way to explore their world. If your infant bites, stay calm and give a clear, firm “No biting.” This helps your baby understand that biting people is not acceptable.

For Toddlers and Preschoolers:

Toddlers and preschoolers bite for more complex reasons, often related to their emotions or inability to communicate. If your child bites, quickly intervene and address both the child who bit and the one who was bitten:

1. Be firm but calm: Use a serious, firm tone to say, “No biting. Biting hurts.” Help the child understand that their actions have consequences, but remain calm to avoid escalating the situation.
2. Comfort the victim: Attend to the child who was bitten by offering comfort and performing first aid if necessary. This shifts the focus away from the child who bit and reinforces that biting is not a way to get attention.
3. Model appropriate language: Help your child express their feelings with words. For example, “You felt angry because Kim took your toy, but biting is not okay.”
4. Offer alternatives: Teach your child alternative ways to manage their emotions or frustrations. Encourage them to use words like “Stop,” “No,” or “That’s mine.”
5. Utilize books: Read books with children to help children understand emotions and appropriate behavior.
   1. Teeth Are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick
   2. No Biting by Karen Katz
   3. No Biting, Louise by Margie Palatini

Addressing Biting 

If biting becomes a recurring behavior, it’s essential to create a consistent approach at home and school. Together, you can identify triggers, develop a plan to replace biting with acceptable behaviors and monitor your child’s progress over time.

Some strategies to help your child overcome  biting include:

• Observe and anticipate: Pay close attention to your child’s behavior to identify triggers for biting.
• Promote communication: Encourage your child to express their needs and feelings verbally. Teaching simple sign language, like “more” or “stop,” can also be helpful for young children who aren’t yet verbal.
• Reinforce positive behavior: Acknowledge and praise your child when they use appropriate behaviors, such as using words to express frustration instead of biting.

What To Avoid

While it can be frustrating to deal with biting, certain responses can actually worsen the behavior. Avoid the following:

• Labeling: Don’t label your child as a “biter.” Negative labels can affect your child’s self-image and lead to more biting.
• Physical punishment or biting back: These responses only teach your child that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems.
• Yelling or shaming: Negative reactions can increase stress and make the behavior worse.

If biting persists despite consistent efforts at home and school, it may be time to consult with a pediatrician for further support.

By understanding the reasons behind biting and responding calmly and proactively, families can help their children develop healthier ways to communicate and interact. With patience and persistence, most children will outgrow this behavior and learn positive social skills.